The Zona Norte in Tijuana is a whole world unto itself. When you start walking towards the Zona Norte you know you are getting closer to the mongering center. Street girls start appearing as they lean against the walls trying to draw your attention. Let me tell you about the trials and tribulations in Tijuana.

Can I Get Blowjob

First thing you will discover is that getting a bareback blowjob can be a pain in the ass. You can have a relationship with a girl and its guaranteed. If you start in a new girl then you have to start the negotiations.

There are two paths to getting a bareback blowjob.

First is just throw money at it. One of my street girls is always a pain in the ass even when she has been with me before. So just increase the base offer to 500 Pesos and in you go.

Second option is just go with the flow and often times eating the girl out and she will often return the favor. However, this is not guaranteed but the success rate goes way up.

Let Me Bring You A Girl

You will discover that no matter what club you are in there are waiters always willing to be unhelpful in numerous ways. My biggest complaint is when they bring you over girls.

When I am chilling in a bar I don’t want to be bothered with having a lineup of whores brought before me. Waiters feel the need to bring them over to you ceaselessly because you know, you are alone. What they don’t realize is that I have scoped the entire lineup when I walked into the bar.

I know what I want. I don’t need some fucking waiter bringing over whatever skank that has agreed to cut him into her potential earnings.

Shit gets annoying quickly.

Buy Me A Drink and Give Me A Tip

Great thing about Tijuana is you can molest the living shit out of the girls for a dollar. It’s a lot of fun and can get you primed up for the main even.t

A tactic that the more aggressive girls do is just walk up to you and sit on your lap. They immediately start giving you a lap dance even if you didn’t ask.

The minute their ass cheeks touch your crotch they lean back and ask if you want to buy them a drink. FUCK NO! You sat on my lap bitch. When you punt them off your lap they have the never to ask for a tip.

I look at them like they are stupid and tell them to move on. What I do understand is that this tactic works because 70% of the guys will give them a drink and 15% will buy them a drink. So why not try?

Taking A Dump

Best piece of advice I can give anyone that goes to Tijuana and finds themselves in a club when the urge to move your bowels comes upon head to a big bar. Trust me on this.

Smaller clubs tend to have less then stellar facilities for taking a comfortable dump. If you are into taking a dump without a seat and no toilet paper then by all means go to a smaller club. Just make sure to grab every available tissue from tables as you make your way to the shitter.

If you do want creature comforts as a toilet seat. A locking stall door. Toilet paper. Dare I suggest soap for washing your hands then big clubs are for you.

I can personally recommend Adelitas, Hong Kong, Tropical and Las Chavelas. Any place else you do so at your own risk.

Go Forth

Tijuana is always fun. Worth it the trip and I recommend going to all the clubs. Just be prepared for some trial and tribulations.