I am finally starting the Tijuana trip report and some of the adventures that were shared in the forums if you read over there. So without further ado its time to get this show on the road.

I flew into San Diego on Wednesday landing around 9 PM. It was my first time on Alaska Air and I gotta say service was great. Not because I was first class but they got your bag out quick and they moved shit along. If I lived on the West Coast I would strongly look at using them more. With bag in hand I quickly ordered my Uber and it was off to the border.

Crossing the boarder was cake and I got a visa. The only time I had an issue was when I was paying for my visa as I opted for a 6 month so I didn’t have to deal with shit if I needed to cross. The guy I used was like just cut through the barrier and and pay the guy. I was like cool. His boss freaked out and was like you can’t do that. I’m like he told me it was ok. The guy was just laughing. Paid up and got my visa and was on my way.

The new border crossing from when I was there last time means you got a further walk to get a taxi. That sucked since I was humping in luggage. Got to the taxi line and told the dude 50 Pesos to the Ticuan and was like no $5. I was like that’s fine. I’ll just ask the next guy. He suddenly changed his mind and was I deserve a tip. I went no, its 50 Pesos or next. Fine. He was rather pissy but fuck him.

Check into the Ticuan without issue and my room was sweet. Sure I had no exterior facing window but it was quiet, meaning I didn’t fucking hear Las Pulgas bass booming all night long. Noticed that my safe was already locked but didn’t want to wait around for them to fuck with it so I just put my stuff under dirty clothes and it wasn’t anything I really cared about anyways. I texted krico and we set a place to meet and I took a quick shower and changed clothes and off I went to the Zona.

Took a taxi because I wanted to get there quick and I told the dude 50 Pesos and he was like no $5. He’s like ok but give me a tip. Um, here is a tip, don’t ask for one or use the fucking meter. Get in.

Arrived and met krico and off we went to Tropical Bar for drinks and to talk a bit since it was our first time meeting. krico caught the maesero short changing him and him “forgetting” to bring me my change. I wasn’t in paying attention mode since I was just happy to be in TJ. krico took matters into hand and quickly got the issue resolved. The funny part was the maesero asked for a tip. We finished our beer and bar hopped for a bit before finally heading to Hong Kong.

We got a sweet booth and were eyeing the ladies. The usual hustling bitches would come buy and ask for a drink or a tip and do fuck all for it. They got the standard answer of no and would move on. Finally two aggressive bitches made an appearance. Mine least had the sense to shove her tits into my face so I was happily rubbing on her and krico was rubbing on his when she reached out and grabbed a 20 Peso note that was on the table and shoved it into my girls top. It was the first bit of drama of the trip. krico grabbed the money back and lightly slapped her arm while telling her not to touch money that wasn’t given. The girl turned around and slapped him in the face and started to yell at him and he told her to fuck off. She said she was going to tell security and have us kicked out.

We sat there for a few minutes until some security guy comes over and asks me if I speak Spanish and I’m like yeah but I have no idea what you are talking to me about. krico immediately starts in on the guy that the girl took the money without permission nor did he assault her as she apparently told him and that she smacked him in the face which she failed to mention to the security guy. This went back and forth after awhile with the security guy saying he would be back.

He walked away and was looking for the girl is our guess. Finally krico makes a gesture of what the fuck to the guy and he’s like just chill. We wait some more and the guy is just standing there looking and finally looks back at krico and was like whatever and walked away back to his post or whatever it is they do. So in the end it was a lot to do about nothing.

Me? I was thrilled it wasn’t me for once! See, my drama days are way behind me. Granted I would have grabbed it back equally and likely did the same thing krico did. The difference between me and him is if you hit me I’m going to lay you the fuck out because I cannot stand being hit.

Moving on.

Once we got back to whoring properly I had some girl with big fake tits and a bubble but come on to me. She was doing the right things in the booth. That and the viagra was in my system. She was doing light kissing in the booth and playing with my dick and letting me suck on her tits. We agreed to $80 in the room and I said goodbye to krico and off I went to do the deed.

Was she great? Fuck no. Was she a mechanical fuckdoll that did nothing? Fuck no. She did what I needed to do and she fucked decent enough. Said the right words and blew me without a condom. I don’t ask for much do I? So we fucked and I popped and that was that. One minor problem. I didn’t have $80 and I failed to negotiate in Pesos. My fault.

So I handed her 1000 Pesos thinking her puta (whore in Spanish) math may be off but she was like 200 Pesos more I blew you without a condom. I was like no. She is like baby do the math. So I did. I got my phone and ran the exchange rate of 17 to 1. Well even at 1200 Pesos I wasn’t at $80, it was $70 so I was like you are right baby. My apologies. Gotta love puta math.

I still wasn’t 100% tired so wandered off to La Gloria bar to enjoy my cauguma (32 ounce beer) and typed up a post in a forum mainly so I could use it as a marker for the trip report then called it a night.

Damn I love Tijuana!

Spanky