I’ll be wrapping this report up with my last day in Tijuana and the exit out of Mexico. The day I flew home wasn’t that exciting but there is some things to be shared. So strap in and enjoy the read. Hopefully won’t be as long this time around.

So I woke up around 11 in the morning and the shortly thereafter I got a call from Mama Spanky asking me if I was okay since there was a text message saying to call me. Mama Spanky and tech aren’t really on speaking terms so she was responding to a text from Wednesday.

I was moving slow after getting in at 3:30 in the morning after leaving Santas Bro and then getting back to the hotel. I eventually wandered out around 1:30 or so and headed to the hotel Nelson for my breakfast. It was packed so I had to sit at the bar so not much people watching. I eventually received a text from krico telling me where to meet him and I paid my bill and off I went.

I get to Hong Kong and go in through the alley entrance when Captain Security decides he needs to show his superiority. Wrong person to fuck with. It’s normal to get a pat down when you go into Hong Kong and I have no problem with this. However the guy supposedly doing the pat down was fucking around with some puta and by fucking around playing grab ass and slap hand. So I stepped aside to get out of the way so I wasn’t collateral damaged. Dick head “Head of Security” is like you need to be patted down. I replied I realize that however you boy is playing grab ass and I don’t want to be hit. To illustrate my point further the girl shot the security guy in the ass with a rubber band. I’m like I don’t want to be caught up in that shit. Tell your boy to do his job. Security douche was you can’t get in without a pat down. I’m like no shit dick head. I get that tell your staff to stop dicking around with the puta and I’ll be happy to move on. No, go get patted down. I’m not going near that shit show because I don’t want to get involved with kindergarten. Sure enough the fucking puta runs from the security guard steps back on my foot with her 7″ puta heels. That was it. I was done.

Fuck you and fuck your pat down. You can’t control your staff who wants to play with putas. I’m going in fuck off. So ended that but it annoyed me.

I get to the booth and there is krico holding court with two lovelies and I mean lovely. So I settle in and the one next to me wraps my arm around her and then promptly bites my arm. WTF! I’m annoyed already so I’m like no biting or I hit you. We clear? It was then I discovered she’s wasted out of her mind and she starts in on a drunken chill out baby in English. Fine. Order a beer.

The girl next to me is drinking krico’s juice and the one next to him is slowly and I mean slowly sipping a beer. They were nearing the end of their shift so they latched on to krico to look busy and not really do much. Don’t blame them and krico isn’t a demanding douche so they got to chill and he got to fondle some titties and kiss them for almost zero expenditure. They were there at least an hour with me and no idea how long before that.

I was feeling just run down from the previous day. Not hungover but not being used to staying up that late. So we just bounced around to various bars. I had to cross the border the next day to fly home so I wasn’t going to tear much up.

The day wore on and I lost krico at some point in the evening. I was on my own and hadn’t fucked yet. I had taken a viagra at some point but between my general tiredness and fucking the previous days I wasn’t feeling much but I was determined to fuck once more before going home. So determined to find a diamond in the rough because I wasn’t feeling the bigger bars.

I went to La Gloria but it was dead with mostly drunks passed out on tables. I wandered into Playboy which is always good for a diamond in the rough or a lump of coal that will do anything you wanted for 800 Pesos. So in I went.

It was then I noticed something I hadn’t seen before. There was a girl I called Ear Licker who I ran into a few trips ago. She worked at Hong Kong and sure enough in Playboy she had a Hong Kong puta wear looking outfit on. She was all over this fugly girl. Turns out Ear Licker is a lesbian. While I’m all for doing who you want the girl she was with was just fucking ugly and not a turnon to watch them make out. It was at this point things go a bit sideways in my stomach.

I jump up and make a beeline for the toilet. I forgot what a classy establishment that Playboy is. Toilet paper? Fucking crazy talk! So I run back out and see napkins on some tables so I grab those and then the ones on my table and then rush back in. Adapt improvise and overcome. The monger code!

Finish up and then head back to my table like nothing happened. Finished up my beer and figured I leave the scene of the crime because what happened in that bathroom wasn’t natural.

I still need to fuck and the thought of alcohol or anything going in my body wasn’t going to happen. So I start the street girl search in the alley. Considering my dick is barely wanting to do much even with the viagra in me I wasn’t going to spend much on this nut because I wasn’t sure it was going to happen.

I start going down the alley asking for a BBBJ and was getting shot down in flames. I finally land on a blond spinner in tight jeans and a tank top. She was closer to Valentinas. We start the romance negotiations and ended up at 300 Pesos totally nude, 2 positions and BBBJ. We go up the stairs to the hotel and I pay the 80 Pesos for the room and off to paradise.

We get into the room and we get naked. Nice tight body but not much for tits. Who cares. I pull out the condom and lay down on the bed and she starts to blow me. I get hard but not pound in nails hard like usual. I just think exhaustion is kicking in. I put on the condom and do her cowgirl then switch to doggy but I can feel my dick deflating so I just stop. I said lick my balls and I’ll finish with my hand. She kinda licked the balls, more tickled them and honestly I didn’t care as I was just trying to get a nut because I wasn’t leaving Tijuana without a final nut. So I did.

No preamble. She cleaned up at the sink to wash the lube off her insides and I came over and cleaned up myself to get the spooge off my stomach. I then got dressed and she had already finished dressing. Handed her 300 Pesos and said goodbye.

Walked back into the alley flagged a taxi for $5 to the hotel and was in bed. Not a stellar ending but it was an ending and I had a good time. Just getting too old for the late nights anymore.

Going Home

This is the plus one for the rest of the trip. Normally the line is a shit show at the border crossing. It was Monday, Memorial Day in the US and I figured there would be a lot of traffic. I get out of the taxi and promptly get lost. It’s like 9:30 in the morning and normally the line is to the taxi drop off. Finally get my bearings and I start walking thinking maybe they moved the line again. Nope, still walking up and no line. I make it to the gates into the US Customs area and still no line. I didn’t even flash my SENTRI card to the guard that was there. I just blew past her.

Get into the Sentri line and was no wait. I wasn’t sure which card to hand the guy so I said not sure which one so here are both. He was like all you need is the SENTRI here so just give me that. He checked it and said have a nice day.

Made my way to the luggage scan, dropped my bag on it and picked it up on the other side and I was on my way. I was over the border in about 10 minutes total. Way ahead of schedule.

I ordered my Uber which came to $20.85 and was on my way to the airport. I could have taken the train but I am not big on public transportation.

So that ended my time in Tijuana. I still love going there and I highly recommend it for anyone. I don’t care if you are a high end monger or a low end budget minded diamond in the rough type of guy. There is something for everyone.

Spanky