I really not to stop reading other monger boards. Yet I find myself drawn to them like watching the bodies being scrapped off the tracks after a train hits a car. It’s just something you feel the need to do even when you know its going to be ugly.
My new favorite thing by narcissistic douche bags is bandying about how they are a great asset to the community because they post trip reports. This means that all other members contributions are less because they don’t post trip reports. They use this sledge hammer in an attempt to silence their critics when pointing out that their other posts are drivel and bullshit.
Let me be clear. I like a good trip report. I appreciate them and the people who take the time to write them. Some are better than others. I won’t go into the reports that use letters for people; “I met A who introduced me to Z and then I snuck off and fucked D”. Like D hasn’t already fucked E, F, G, and H. Give us all a break. Make up a name if you are too much of a pussy to use someone’s name.
Still, I’m targeting the narcissists. These guys that think that their own reports are something to be held in esteem and that they contribute something more than what they are; a self serving reminder and digital bragging rights to a bunch of other mongers. It isn’t anything special and its doubtful that its anything that hasn’t been written before.
It’s nice to share but don’t sit there and beat others up that your “contributions” are something more meaningful.
A monger board is a community. Each person is different. Each persons contribution or lack-thereof isn’t defined by some arbitrary ability to write a trip report.
Help spread the word that a trip report does not define a mongers contribution to a monger community.
Spanky
The Art of the Trip Report. The following is a trip report generator for the monger who wishes to pump his empty life up to levels that may be revered or at least acknowledged as less than a complete zero.
I went to ¬¬-¬¬¬¬¬¬¬__________________ (Fill in the location) to find _____________(select any from below)
A. Cheap Pussy
B. Cheap Pussy and get shit faced drunk every day
C. Cheap Pussy and get some cheap dental work done
D. Cheap Pussy and get shit faced every day and have some cheap dental work
I met a girl and _____________(select any from below)
A. She was drop dead gorgeous
B. She was gorgeous and I talked her down to half the usual price
C. She was gorgeous and usual rate was $$$$$ but because of my game she only wanted $
D. She was gorgeous and told me all she wanted was taxi fare because she wanted me
E. She was gorgeous and offered me $$$ to take her
When we got to the room __________(select any from below)
A. She blew me without a condom
B. She blew me without a condom and swallowed
C. She blew me without a condom and tossed my salad
D. She blew me without a condom, tossed my salad and swallowed
Then _________________(select any from below)
A. I ate her until she came
B. I ate her until she came 3 times
C. I ate her until she came then fucked her bareback
D. I ate her until she came then fucked her bareback 3 times in 3 different holes
When we finished_____________(select any from below)
A. She told me that was the best sex she ever had
B. She told me I was the best she ever had and she loved me
C. She told me she could not take the money. She wanted a real relationship
D. She told me my dick was so big she would too sore to work for a week.
As she was leaving__________________(select any from below)
A. She said she wanted to see me tomorrow for free
B. She said she would never forget me
C. She said she wanted to marry me and have my babies
D. She said I love you and your leche tastes like vanilla pudding.
The real trip report would be more like this.
I went to ____________ for some cheap pussy.
When I got there (select any from below)
A. I got shit face drunk
B. I got shit faced and met this girl
C. I got shitfaced and this girl found me
D. I got shit faced and this girl followed me back to my room
When we got to the room (select any from below)
A. She had a dick
B. I passed out
C. She had a dick and I passed out
D. I fucking don t remember
Then ¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬___________(select any from below)
A. She had a dick but I was shit faced and I fucked her anyway
B. She had a dick and I passed out and she fucked me in the ass
C. I passed out and she stole everything in the room including the toilet paper and my clothes
D. I passed out and she fucked me in the ass then stole everything in the room
The next morning she woke me up_______(select any from below)
A. I said “Goddamn! you went from Beyoncé to Sasquatch in less than 6 hours”
B. I sad “Can you help get this condom out of my ass”?
C. I said “Did they know you were a Tranny when you were “Tica of the Month”?
D. I said “WTF” Let’s get some breakfast but you really need to shave first