Starting a post off with a title like tales of dwarves and giants may seem like I flipped to a JRR Tolkien fan website. Not at all. Instead I’m going to share a couple of stories that from my adventures in Tijuana. The land of the absurd.


Who doesn’t want to fuck a midget? When you monger long enough you start to go for weird and the exotic just to one up the other mongers as you swap stories about your adventures. So when the opportunities arises you gotta do it!

I am happy to report I took the opportunity when I had it.

I was sitting in Playboy in Tijuana when I noticed this tiny ass woman walking. I was like no fucking way! It’s a midget! It was still fairly early so instead of immediately grabbing her I just moved on.

It hit me as I was messaging on LINE to a group of degenerates in another bar that I just passed fucking a midget. I got my ass back in hurry!

Romancing the Dwarf

I sat that the bar and the deportee waiter was like you back for the midget? Hell yes! Let me go see if she’s available.

Sadly it seemed everyone was into midget fucking. She was busy. Fuck that! I handed the waiter $5 and said grab her when she’s free. Fuck all the rest of them.

True to the capitalist way the minute she was done with some other guy she was brought over to me. The midget was so short I had to help her up on the barstool. She was maybe just at my chest and I’m 5’8″.

I bought her a drink and made it known my interest in fucking her. Since she was so popular she didn’t seem that interested but it was about me not her. My helpful waiter was hovering nearby sensing my desperation to do the midget.

Knowing what I wanted I waved him over (I may have been intoxicated) and asked how much for a private room. It was time to get this show on the road. The viagra may have helped.

The price was going to be $40 for a bucket or beer and and 30 minutes in the room.

Let’s go!

Midget Loving

The private room was at the back of the bar our beers were delivered and the door is secured. She starts off drinking a beer but I’m like fuck that. We are here to fuck not drink

Gauging my desperation she told me it would be more to fuck her. Tossing out 500 Pesos for her she quickly agreed and started to get undressed.

For a midget she had a really hot body. I made her lie down on the bench and I put a condom on. There was no foreplay. She was lubed up enough for all the other guys before me so I just started to pound her.

Sadly there wasn’t much participation on her part. The midget just laid there. Since I was more than half drunk I told her to start moaning like she liked it. Pretend it was a damn porn movie or something.

She could not help but laugh at that and then went into some convincing moaning. Pounding away some more she stopped moaning and I told her to keep it up damn it. Money was involved and I was getting my worth out of it.

Knowing I wasn’t going to bust in the condom I removed it and took matter into my own hands. Mission accomplished.

I fucked midget.

There Might Be Giants


krico and his giant

Giants do roam the earth. I have born witness to them! There is also the fact that krico fucked one!

Like many adventures it started innocently enough. Venturing into Las Chavelas we took a seat to watch the Manny Pacquiao vs. Jessie Vargas fight. It was then a waiter we both knew brought a girl over he thought krico would be interested in.

There is no joking involved here. The girl stood well over 6ft tall and she was wearing heels. She towered over me and krico.

Giantess was rather quiet and she agreed to sit with us to watch the fight. Experienced monger that he is, krico took the time to do some interviewing by buying her a drink.

Wait Your Turn

The giantess sat with us throughout the fight as most activity had stopped in the bar. She seemed pleasant enough and was dressed rather nicely and not in full on whore wear like some of the girls.

It was at the point that the fight ended and krico said he was off to climb a mountain or a giant tree. I wished him luck and off he went.

Curiously enough there was a crowd of younger dudes standing behind krico and were a bit disappointed when he left with the giant. The guys were American and said krico just got the famous giant.

My curiosity was tweaked so I asked what was he talking about. He said the girl was famous on TJAmigo’s and that they had come in to grab her and have a session. Told them to wait their turns. He would be done in 45 minutes or so.

Next day krico told me it was 90 minutes and she wasn’t a bad fuck. Bit shy but once she got into it she was a good lay.

Only In Tijuana

It’s not often you can say you fucked a midget and saw your wingman walk off to fuck a giant. I really can’t stress how much of a departure from reality the Zona Norte is. It truly is bizarro world down there.

I highly recommend everyone goes on a trip so they too can fuck dwarves and giants!