I am used to the civilized grocery shopping in Thailand. People are polite and wait their turn. Here in America? It’s a fucking nightmare where a bunch of assholes all trying to crowd in.

I Don’t Like Shopping

I will freely admit to not enjoy grocery shopping or any shopping for that matter. I view it as a dark ops mission. I plan my strike with strategic precision. I am in and out and done.

Shopping here with Mama Spanky has been an exercise in restraint as I try and retain my sanity and avoid killing her.

The woman likes to wander through the aisle and see the deals. Doesn’t matter that she buys the same shit all the time. You never know when you will find a bargain is her response.

Fuck that! I just want in and out.

All For Grapes

I have been to grocery stores for the last two days. We were at some store that is the latest rage in the retirement set. It offers bargains and steep discounts by offering no frills shopping.

The people in this store almost got fucking killed by yours truly. I was standing there waiting for my mother to pick the most succulent bag of grapes. Some fucking cunt just reached dead across in front of me and just barged me out of the way.

I was like you could say excuse me. She just looked at me like I was the one in the wrong. To which I just responded you are a fucking cunt and just walked away.

All for grapes.

Adventures In Walmart

Yesterday was a trip to Walmart. There is no other store I loathe on this earth than Walmart. However Mama Spanky used mental gymnastics by saying we can avoid going to 2 different stores if we just go to Walmart.

Holy fuck, at 1 PM in the afternoon it was every geriatric in Fort Myers in there. The worst is circling for a fucking handicap parking space. You know you are in Florida when handicap parking is a bitch to get. 

The geriatrics beyond moving at the speed of snails are great for just stopping and leaving their card anywhere they feel like. Oh, middle of an aisles or at some fucked up angle? They don’t see it as an issue. Yes, Mama Spanky is guilty as fuck for both of these.

What the hell is the deal with Walmart attracting the dregs of humanity. I didn’t see that it was that much cheaper. Frankly I rather go some place civilized where I don’t have to deal with freaks.

Give Me Thai Shoppers

The thing about Thailand is that Thais don’t do confrontations. So you aren’t going to have people reaching across from you. You will be asked politely if you are blocking anything.

You don’t see freaks and weirdos wandering around with their pack of hell spawn. There are no geriatrics walking as slow as possible leaving carts wherever they stop just because you know, they stopped.

February 5th cannot come soon enough. Please get me back to Thailand!