I was having some dealing with a family member and I pointed out that its not personal. My observation on a business transaction and do what you like with it. Your stuff, not mine. I think its a good rule to have when mongering because too many mongers be they veterans or newbies or somewhere in-between often forget, its not personal its just business.
To clarify the its not personal statement I think you need to have an understanding of it. I have personal relationships with people I do business with and I’m not talking about hookers. I engage people I know in a professional manner. While there is some give and take and helping out with a personal friend, there comes a point where you go, this is a business transaction and not a personal one. I do expect to get paid for my time because I’m not doing thousands worth of work for someone without some compensation. My skills are valuable and again, don’t mind helping a friend but hours or days worth of work just isn’t something done for free.
To put that into the monger perspective lets talk about girls you may have known for a long time. You may be attached to them but hey, unless its clear that the ass is being given up for free its expected that you pay. If you see them in their working environment you are going to have to buy some drinks or give some tips. It’s business. Its her job and you should be respectful of that. Sure she’s selling her ass and she may be fond of you and all that, but you need to remember she still needs to get paid. It’s not something you should take personally either.
Too many guys get caught up in the whole emotional aspect of it all. She’s working no matter which way you cut it. If you don’t want to pay her directly mostly to assuage our own guilt, then slip her the money discretely in a way that you know she will get it or find it. If you you bought a ton of gifts and paid for that grand vacation that your invited her on taking her away from her work, you still need to pay. Remember, its not personal! It’s business no matter what way you cut it. She is taking time away from her work to be with you on a trip you invited her on. So if you didn’t want to tell her up front you aren’t paying her while she is away then thats on you.
Guys need to be honest with themselves and realize they are dealing with a prostitute no matter what way you cut it. Its her job. Give her some respect for that. It’s you with the problem if you expect her to basically hang out with you without payment unless you make it very clear up front. There is nothing wrong with doing that. It’s called honesty. Its called something you should shoot for because it doesn’t leave things open for interpretation. The girl accepts it or not. If in the middle of the trip she tried to renegotiate then the fault is with her unless you do something that changes the rules. Remember, its business. Time is money and services are expected to be paid for so if something changes, you get the bill.
So just remember, its business. Its not personal. There is nothing wrong with doing so and its better to be honest about it then try and dodge around it to spare your feelings our hers.