I was reading Thai Visa looking for some insurance information for my new life in Thailand. Saw an interesting post about an elderly gentleman inquiring about his insurance. He said he was giving it a go with a nice lady he met. She worked a factory job and now was living with him and he was paying her salary so she no longer had to work.
Let us take a moment and think about this. While the original post was concerning Thailand this happens all over the world. Guy meets woman. He falls in love. Next step is setting up house. This is most normal people’s idea of what happens in a relationship.
Once you set up house you build a life together. Maybe you both work. There could be kids and one person stays home and raises them. Then, again maybe there is childcare expenses.
Nothing crazy going on here. It’s two people in a relationship going through life. Couples all over the world do it everyday.
You Pay Her
This is where things lose the plot and cause an inequity in the relationship. I don’t care if one partner works or not. That isn’t unusual. Again, it’s life and you share your expenses.
What makes this situation unbalanced is the man is paying his partner a salary. In effect, she just became a fulltime staff member in the household that you can fuck. She is no longer an equal in all things. There is no balance. She is relying on the man to provide her income that she would otherwise derive from working.
The argument usually given when questioned about this is that they want to be with their lady. She needs money to support her family and so on. They don’t want to be bothered with family business they don’t understand or want to being with.
Laughing At You Not With You
One of the things you will realize when you dip your toe into mongering in another country or legit dating. The women will all say the same thing. Local men are shit. No good bastards all of them. They want a nice foreign man.
You want to know why they want a nice foreign man? It is because you are too stupid to know the system.
There are no local men lining up to pay their wives and girlfriends. Just as the same back home. No one in their right mind pays their significant other a “salary” to say with them. It’s a relationship not a job.
Women in other countries fall on their knees and pray to whatever deity for this situation. There is no longer a need to go to a real job daily. They get off fairly easy by cooking and cleaning which they would do otherwise. Maybe have sex a few times a week to keep the guy happy. Have an upgraded lifestyle afforded by Western money. With the icing on the cake that they get paid to boot.
Trust me, her circle of friends are both envious of her and laughing at your dumb ass. Everyone knows she’s now got it easy with the clueless foreigner. So the game will be how to get their own slice of that pie as well. You were dumb enough to fall for it once. Why not twice?
Stop Thinking The Rules Are Different
When you enter a relationship with a foreign woman culturally things will be different. There is no denying that. What isn’t different is that couples all over the world are the same.
Unless you are running a harem full of kept women there is no need to pay a salary to your wife or girlfriend. You are letting your own preconceived ideas color your perspective. You may come from a different economic background but it doesn’t mean you pay the person that is living and sleeping with you a salary. This isn’t done back home and it should not be done in your country of choice.
Cultural rules are the only difference. There isn’t a man out there who is paying his woman to stay with him unless she’s his mistress.
Alternative To Paying Salary
There is zero reason to pay any woman a salary to stay with you. If you think she needs money for whatever expenses she may have then discuss them up front. Her family will always come first so you better know that going in. That means you will end up footing the bill at times.
If you really want to do something then set up a small business. This isn’t some grand plan. Most are content with a small shop catering to locals, a tiny salon, hell even a food business. You be shocked at how little it costs to start one of these up.
The benefit of the small business is it empowers her. It gives her something else to do other than be around you 24 hours a day. Then there is the benefit of a small income. It may not be much but it’s something. Let her keep it. If a supplement is required then it’s to make up the disparity between your incomes. Not one partner paying the other.
I have seen more success with this model than any others.
Stop Paying Her Salary
If you go into a relationship thinking you need to pay the person you are with it’s doomed. I already indicated there is an inequity from the start. One partner is more dominate than the other and a relationship is about equality.
I don’t care how special and how different she is. When you start paying her you are doomed.