It will be another observational post from me today. I can only write about sessions that are decent, the forgettable ones are just that, forgettable. You stick your dick into the hole and finish. It was what it was and you move on. It also helped that I was bone tired from shooting in the heat all day long but was horny and wanted to fuck.

Observation 1

Look, I am not a teetotaler by any stretch of the imagination. I can drink with the best on any given day. I have been an obnoxious drunk at times but the one thing I am not is a loud and rude drunk. It’s my own nature not to be that. So when some fucking cunt comes along screaming sexy lady, beautiful ladies to a group of Thai women clearly engaged in a conversation and NOT working a bar you look like a twat. More so, to then go and brag you can fuck any woman in this town while the group in front of you is clearly ignoring you you look like a bigger twat. Finally screaming at the top of you lungs Up The Republic of Ireland to all within a 20 meter radius of your drunk self doesn’t do credit to the Irish people. It’s 3 in the afternoon and you are pissed out of your mind. You look like a fucking cunt.

Observation 2

I get buying drinks for ladies. I do it because its how they earn money and if they are spending time with you then do so. Don’t be a cheap ass.

What I don’t like is guys that will buy a girl 20 shots of Tequila and then watch her drink it. Of course she is going to say yes. She is making money. These girls live and die by the Baht. You know it and I know it. So buying her 20 shots of anything is just a recipe for her getting sick and possibly alcohol poisoning.

I watched her and after every 5th shot or something she would go and puke in the toilet. It didn’t take a genius to figure this out. I finally gave the girl a handful of mints to get the vomit taste out of her mouth.

I have never received a more genuine wai in my life.

If you want to show off just give the girl the money instead of trying to make her wish she was dead the next day at minimum or at worst, giving her alcohol poisoning.

Observation 3

Ladyboy noms (tits) are fucking weird.

So there is a new gogo up on Walking St called Katoey’s Are Us. This I had to see.

First off, Katoey’s Are Us is owned by the bastard that clearly stole my identity, Spanky. How do I know? Well all the beer condoms are labeled Spanky’s Bangkok and the stools around the stage had Spanky’s Bangkok on them. Plus the check bin receipt has Spanky’s Bangkok on it. Kinda of a give away.

Katoey’s Are Us has real ladies plus the obvious ladyboys. I am happy to report I was drawn to the ladies. I debated on talking to one but I just wasn’t in the mood by that point to deal with a conversation.

What I found weird is that the ladyboy tits were all over the map. Look, I don’t pretend to make a study of their third gender, if you like them then fine. If you don’t fine. Just holy shit, their tits were awful. I saw more bad tit jobs then any man should ever see in a lifetime.

Nipples that didn’t line up. One tit going in one direction, another a different way. These seemed the most common problems.

If a pair of tits looked okay, but when you saw the side view it just looked like two balloons shoved under a skin shirt.

It was just awful.

Observation 4

Speaking of ladyboys, watching them in the gogo was priceless entertainment. You combine overly flamboyant gay personalities with the supposed looks of a woman and you get high camp value.

A flamboyant gay male I get. It seems if you are gay and effeminate you tend to act that way. With a ladyboy it just doesn’t work. They (in theory) look like women but act like gay men. A real woman doesn’t do the shit they do. It’s like they are a caricature of a woman. I just wanted to scream, see the hot piece of ass whose tits go in the same direction and look natural? She isn’t flouncing around the bar. In fact, she knows she is sexy and doesn’t have to prove it. Please stop, its annoying.

Observation 5

Making it rain.

I’m thrilled you have more money than brains.

What I don’t like is when you throw the fucking money over my head and I have a herd of screaming women running towards me without regard for my beer or my own personal sense of space. Get your lazy ass up and walk towards the middle of bar and toss your god damn 20 Baht notes. Once I would have found ok; the second and third time I just wanted to reach back and punch you.

Honorable Mention

To the elderly Japanese guy, I salute you. You had a fucking rocking party in the corner of Super Baby’s. I have no idea how many you barfined and how much you paid but man, your private harem was having a huge party and you were shaking your booty with the ladies. No one in the bar was watching the naked noms on stage, you sir were the entertainment and I salute you.

So ended another glorious day in Pattaya.

Spanky