So I was talking to Prostoner who turns out to be a germaphobe. He said the worst place he ever fucked was a massage parlor in San Jose, Costa Rica. I know the place he was talking about and told him that is damn near 5 star quality.

I have been in some nasty places to fuck. I don’t look at is as a badge of honor but I do look at is as an adventurous dude that will not let a shit environment stop me from having a good time. I consider it window dressing for the story I am eventually going to get out of it.

Costa Rica still holds the nastiest place I have ever fucked. That was in Club Monaco (I think) where there was a bench that had cum stains on it. We aren’t talking old dried up cum, but some dude just finished not that long ago and the jizz was starting to congeal. The girl was even grossed out by it. Seeing how I am a gentleman I made her lay down on that shit because there was no way I was getting any part of my body near enough to have skin contact on it.

I can recall the Philippines at Nifty’s where you can see the earth between the floorboards of the “bar” area. You can read the story in the link about getting blow there and by who but it was an experience. Nothing like getting blown in a bar with dry rotting floors while some equally uncaring monger is across from you getting blown and enjoying it. The finish in the break room where the girl spit the load on floor was classy as well.

In Tijuana as I eluded to with the monger pic of the day yesterday I have fucked in some nasty rooms there. Nothing like a plastic lawn chair next to a bed thats caved in from fucking. The bare lightbulb providing light while the bugs fly around it casting weird shadows in the room. The floor with enough DNA on it you are afraid to touch your shoes and your choice of moving the toilet paper you are going to need to clean your dick off to the bed so you put your clothes on the cheap chair which may be the cleanest thing in the room.

Then there is Soi 6 in Pattaya. If any place broke me of getting over the conditions of a room its this one soi in Thailand. It’s likely why I didn’t care about Tijuana rooms. There are nasty places to fuck and then there is Soi 6. Now this isn’t to say all the bar have shit hole rooms but lets just say a majority have less then pleasant environments. Nothing beats trying to take the mandatory shower before you fuck. This means navigating girls with their own customers, shoes, and all sorts of weird shit. You pray they don’t have a resident pet because the smell of piss will overwhelm you.

When you make it to the shower you pray there is a shower or you know you are going to get the trash can filled with water and a bowl in it. You just get splashed down with cold water. Which feels good on a hot day but its still not pleasant when that first hit gets you. Oh, did I mention that this same giant trash can and bowl gets used on everyone? To say fucking happens in the shower area is a mild understatement. So you are likely to end up with someones DNA at least on your feet. Don’t think about touching the wall. On the upside they do use liquid soap!

Once you return to the room you hit the bed that has been fucked on about 8 million times. If its good, its just caved in from fucking. If its bad, its been stripped of everything except a thin pad over the springs. If its really bad the mattress, you are on a the box spring. Talk about no give!

Each little bar has its own twist on this but you get the point. It’s an adventure fucking on Soi 6.

Finally on Soi 6 you don’t even have to get a room! Hell just get blown at the bar or in the bathroom. Nothing says sexy time while standing in piss (I miss the Corner Bar). The Bee Bar which is right across the street saw a lot of action on the pool table and I have been blown in there at the bar and in the bathroom. The smell of mothballs is strangely erotic to me.

I still haven’t done the dirt track girls near Bali Hai Pier which are $3 a fuck but I’ll save that experience for when I’m an expat.

So don’t let a nasty place to fuck slow you down. Just get on with it and have a good time. You will always have a story to tell.

Spanky