I have been struggling to write lately. It’s not so much writer’s block. It’s that my mind wanders.
Things Are In Motion
My time is winding down. Since I was like 38 I dreamed of moving to Thailand. I promised myself I would do it at 40. I missed that by 3 years now and by the time I get there might as well be 4.
This time? Not so much. Things are in motions and choices have been made.
My biggest loadstone also known as my condo was sold this year. My debt has been paid down to all but the smallest remaining amount that will be paid in full.
That debt was to pay for something that will hopefully make me money. It was business decision more than a whimsical I want purchase.
It’s Getting Real
One of the things I had to contend with was my lease. It expires this Thursday. I was looking at month-to-month and breaking a lease was too tedious. Luckily I was able to sign a 6 month lease that worked out perfectly.
I have also pinpointed my resignation day. That will give me the 60 days notice that I am required by my lease. It puts me perfectly in line with what I wanted to do anyways.
Knowing these dates makes things real. Tangible and not just dreams.
In all my wanting and dreaming before it was bravado and bullshit. There was a part of me that just didn’t feel right. Some little piece of me that said now is not the time.
This time it’s not there. It’s a realization I need to go to do what is best for me. I know in my heart that I can’t keep grinding on a great job that I have come to hate. I have changed not them.
Please don’t get me wrong. I’m scared shitless. You walk away from mid-6 figures and not feel like you could be making the biggest mistake of your life.
Why My Mind Wanders
You can see my degenerate brethren why I haven’t been so focused on mongering. I have tried but I got life altering realities facing me. The need to write this also as a bit of a confession also helps.
I talk to others about my choices. Pattaya Bound being the biggest dumping ground for my blatherings. He’s just not a monger so when we talk it’s visas and domestication issues since he’s happily settled down in Thailand.
My degenerate monger friends in Thailand talk to me about pussy and blowjobs. So I guess that balances out.
So forgive me if I can’t write about how the mongering lifestyle works or the ramifications of it. If I can’t supply the best way to get the cheapest price of pussy in some third world shithole.
I’m still a monger at heart. Just one dealing with a life changing event.