I am seriously spoiled by the bumgun that is ubiquitous in South East Asia. The thought of taking a shit here in the US has become one of dread for me because it’s just so inefficient. Instead of just spraying and drying you gotta spend time wiping and then things can get messy.

What The Hell Western World

I understand that the Western World has the luxury of a modern sewer system. It’s capable of handling paper flushed down a toilet and the facilities to treat it at the other end.

The modern sewer system is great in theory but the reality of it is that you are reliant on toilet paper. This is where shit hits the ass in this case.

You are forced to wipe your ass with toilet paper and then use a wet wipe or jump in a shower if things get really messy. This is where South East Asia beats the Western Worlds Ass (pun intended).

Bumguns Rule

For those of you that have been to South East Asia and used the bumgun I salute you. Those of you that haven’t either by not using it while there or never having been you don’t know what you are missing.

You finish you business. Maybe a game on the phone, a few messages to mates, whatever you want want to do. Then give it a spray to your ass with the bumgun. If you are in a hurry you you can give a quick toilet paper wipe to dry. If not, go back to phone and just naturally air dry.

The system is so much better. You aren’t sitting there wiping your ass chafing delicate skin. Trust me, you will learn to love a bumgun when you get food poisoning. It makes things so much easier as you are pissing out of your ass.

Why Bumguns Aren’t In The West

I can’t say they aren’t in the west as I have seen them in hardware stores. However, there is one issue not usually available in Western Homes. That would be a floor drain.

In South East Asia all bathrooms have a drain in the bathroom floor. This is done for a couple of reasons. The first is you may just have a shower that is apart of the bathroom. You save money not building out a separate area for a shower.

The other is for the much beloved bumgun. It’s basically a dish sprayer on most sinks in the West. So if you do have a leak or things spray a little erratically the water just goes down the drain.

You have no reason to worry about water pooling on your floor. The drain handles all this and makes the bumgun possible. You can do this in the West but without the floor drain you gotta worry about a leak or a wild spray.

Can’t Wait To Get Back To My Bumgun

I am so looking forward to my bumgun in my toilet in my condo in Thailand. Seriously, the entire wiping your ass thing is tedious and I can’t wait to just spray and enjoy my time in the toilet instead of dreading.

So give me my bumgun or give me death!

Spanky