This was written by Professor Emeritus Rainman who was nice enough to allow me to share it for those of you who don’t read the forums. It is his guide to Panama City, Panama. I genuinely liked Panama City and it was a fun place to visit. There is shit to do during the day and at night you could bang a hot Colombian if you were inclined. I have edited it only to make it readable as a blog post versus a forum post. Enjoy! – Spanky

Where To Stay

If you stay at Hyatt Place (which I would definitely recommend) you should register for two adults. I think the daily rate is slightly higher per day then if you register for only one, but according to Lee if you register for two they do not charge you for bringing a guest back to your room. So you definitely save money instead of having to pay the guest fee every time you bring a girl back. If I recall it was 40 bucks per visitor. I didn’t know this at the time I booked my room for the July trip.

Where And How To Monger

Habanos is still the place to go. It is only about a block away from the Hyatt and it was packed. It reminds me quite a bit of what the Del Rey used to be like back in it’s prime. Basically filled wall to wall with girls from just about every city in Colombia. It is more expensive than SJ or Medellin, the girls start at $150-200 but you can sometimes get them down to 125, that was about the best I could ever do.

The professor used Tinder and the local version of Craigslist quite a bit and I think he was able to get a much lower rate, about half of what it was at Habanos, but I preferred going to Habanos and looking around and talking with the girls first.

One bad thing about Panama is that there was not really any place to go during the day where there was any action. Habanos does not get going until around 9 or 10 at night, it is completely empty during the day. Basically, you would get the girls number at night that you wanted to during the day you would just arrange for her to come over to your hotel.

The Negative

The other negative things about Panama are heat and traffic. During the day it is VERY hot and humid and you pretty much work up a sweat after walking for only a few minutes. I would usually have to take about three showers a day. At night though there is usually a nice ocean breeze so it is not too bad then. Also, during the week it is bumper to bumper traffic during the day and total gridlock during the morning and afternoon rush hour, so it is best to try to avoid the rush hours at all costs. During the weekend the traffic pretty much clears out and it is easy to get around them.

Shit To Do

If you go to the Canal, which of course you have to do, then either go in the morning before 10 or 11 I think or else in the afternoon after 4:00. They let the ships go through the locks from both sides in the morning, then they stop and the ships cruise through the canal during the day and exit through the locks on the other side in the afternoon. (Personally skip it as it’s a ripoff – Spanky)

So if you go in the middle of the day you will not see any ships going through the locks. When you get there please check online to confirm that I was accurate about the times when the ships are allowed through.

Casco Viejo is the main tourist area to visit. This is the “Old Quarter” and it is where the city was moved to after the original city was destroyed by English pirates in 1620. This used to be a pretty rough area, but since the 1990’s it has started to be rebuilt and there are quite a few homes and businesses that have now been renovated back to how they originally looked from about 100 years or so ago and they are quite nice. There are some areas not yet rebuilt, but there is a large police presence in the area now due to a large number of tourists so there isn’t really anything to really worry about. You could spend a half day or so just walking around and having a beer in the bars. It is about 4×4 blocks (small blocks) if I recall and has a lot of bars to have a beer in. Try to go near sunset so you can enjoy the breeze coming in. (Highly recommend Casco Viejo – Spanky)

Also, you can go to “Panama Viejo” which is actually the original city site that was destroyed by the pirate attack. The only thing left are some of the original outer stone walls and a few of the walls from some of the buildings. Not too much is really left standing to be honest, but it is something to go look at just to see it once. It only takes about an hour or so to walk over the whole site.

The closest beach town is Coronado, which is about a 2-hour ride away. I took a trip there once, but the beaches were not that great, to be honest. This is where a lot of expats live though, so that was kind of interesting.

The Hyatt Place is about a 10-15 minute walk from the Bay of Panama (remember the heat) and you can walk down there and look out over the ocean and take in the view of the ships and all the high rise towers. (Walked it while humping a camera. Not that bad. – Spanky)

The Trump Tower is now a JW Marriott residence…ha…ha. It has a nice bar up at the top where there is a small pool that looks out over the bay. At least I assume this bar it is still there. The drinks are on the high side but not too bad and there is a great view over the bay as the sun goes down. Also, there is a nice casino there on the bottom floor.

If the “Hop On- Hop Off” tour bus is still running it is fun to do during the weekend. Basically, for about 25 bucks you buy a ticket that is good for 24 hours and it runs around Panama City and stops at about 5-6 places where you can get off and look around if you want to and after about an hour another bus will come by (these are big red double-decker buses that are easy to recognize) and you just hop back on and show them your ticket and it goes on around to the other stops. You actually don’t have to get off at any stop if you don’t want to. You can stay on and just be driven around the city looking around if you want to. ONLY DO THIS ON THE WEEKENDS THOUGH. If you go during the week you will just be stuck in one huge traffic jam and the buses will always be late.

Check online when you get there to see if this is still going on. The closest place to catch one to the Hyatt is at the Hotel Panama, which is about 3-4 blocks away from the Hyatt.

Professor Emeritus Rainman

Hope this helps you guys considering going to Panama City. I highly recommend a visit. It’s a nice place to visit and is a good cover for mongering for those that need to keep it undercover. – Spanky