Gogo MadnessI am not a fan of gogos.  I have a few I will go to but for the most part I’m not going to be caught in them most nights.  My friend who was there, we shall call the Scottish Rover does enjoy them and he knows so many obscure hole-in-the-wall gogos on and off Walking St it would blow you mind.  He was taken by a fit of gogo madness one night and I shall relate it to ye gentle readers.

The Scottish Rover and I were doing something and he suggested we go to Walking St to some gogo that he knew.  I was bored so I agreed to this and off we went taking motorbikes up there.  We jumped off and down one of the side sois that house the majority of the smaller and mid-sized gogos into this tiny little entry way.  Next thing I know we are being haled and greeted warmly by the mama-san (not unusual trust me).  The Scottish Rover who was slightly tipsy at this point was grinning ear-to-ear like he just found the greatest diamond in the rough, sadly I disappointed him pointing out I had been into this establishment in my more clueless days and knew it and it was the same mama-san anyways.  Well, the Scottish Rover is generous if anything so drinks were starting to flow and despite being in a Walking St gogo I was enjoying myself.  I can throw off the don’t really bother with me vibe as I know the deal so don’t waste your time and I would appreciate it if you don’t waste mine.  This vibe works well for the true pros that work at a Walking St gogo.

So I was drinking my beers and I do believe I started to chat with the waitress (I have a weakness for them) and bought her a drink that she truly appreciated and I didn’t care if she wandered off to serve other customers.  It kept the more blood thirsty sharks away and I enjoyed the show and would check on the Scottish Rover to make sure he wasn’t enjoying himself too much.  It turns out he was enjoying himself too much and he was infatuated with this lovely early 20’s something dancer and I could only shake my head and smile.  He leaned over and asked me what could he do.  She was too lovely to pass up.  I gave him the universal, it’s going to end badly, ‘up to you’. and that was the end of the conversation.

We whiled a way a few more beers when I was hitting my gogo limit of staring at bored chrome pole dancers and the Scottish Rover announced he was going to barfine this Isan Princess for the night.  I just smiled back ruefully and asked to pay my check bin so I could head back to some place where I could find a beer in relative silence compared to a gogo with music blasting at 11.  We cut out on to the soi and were walking toward Second Rd when I felt a tap, ‘Fuck me Spanky, I have two’, I could only look at him like he was insane but he had a boyish grin on his face.  I should point out that he is a veteran of Asia and knows the game as well as I do so he knew it was going to end badly but he was having a good time and that’s all that really mattered.

We made our way to the motobike taxi guys and the girls spoke almost zero English so it was up to me to then explain where the Scottish Rover was staying.  Directions in Thai were given and both the girls and driver nodded.  I knew it was going to be bad when one of the girls said she wasn’t riding 4 to a bike.  Trust me, may not sound safe but Thais do it constantly.  I shrugged and jumped my own taxi heading to my local bar where I would be treated like royalty.  That was the last I heard from the Scottish Rover that night.

The next day I met up with the Scottish Rover and I asked how was it.  ‘Spanky, it was awful as I knew it would be but they were stunningly beautiful but were out of there in an hour’, so much for long time.  He just laughed and smiled which is about all you can do in those situations as it’s a fool to believe its going to ever end better.  Even pros get sucked into moments of gogo madness.

Spanky