I did a blowjob bar and gentlemen’s club tour. Normally I avoid any type of tour involving large groups of mongers. Noddy convinced me to give it a go and I don’t regret it at all. I was crawling back to my room with a sore cock and a shit eating grin!

Meeting Point

It was decided to meet up at the English Rose on Soi Chaiyapoon or the DMZ since the road is so bombed out and cratered.

Once there we were a group of 7 gathered and introductions for those of us that didn’t know each other. With pleasantries out of the way we paired up those with bikes and those without bikes and off we went.

First Stop

We hit up the Telephone Bar as the first stop. We all walked in and were immediately paired off. I was in the mood so I shooed off my girl and had my beer. We were all still chatting but someone bought a girl a drink and tits were out.

I got approached again and the girl had a nice rack on her so I was like sure I’ll buy you a drink. Just to play with them was fine by me.

Suddenly guys were disappearing and and heading to rooms in the back. I wasn’t in the mood yet but the girl got my dick hard. As I played with them I started to make a titty fuck motion. It hit me, blow job and titty fuck! I’m in.

So off we go! I was 3rd one up but I missed out on the room. Instead go upstairs and I get a non-aircon room with just a couch. I am like fuck me. She gets naked and lays a towel on the couch which is leather and I am like fine let’s get this on the road.

With a fan blowing on me and her between my legs she gets to work. One of the distractions was you keep hear “Noddy” every few minutes and your dick kinda loses the feeling. Still the girl was a trooper. She finally got me off while I titty fucked her and she liked the head of my dick.

Good girl!

Walk downstairs to see two of the group getting blown in chairs. This being Pattaya I shrugged and got some ice for my complimentary beer.

Once all were regrouped it was time to move on.

Second Stop

Le Carre Blanc was our next stop and we were in there. I had no power and told the girl I was good so she slunk off. Noddy had a really hot one that spoke fluent English. Noddy being a gentleman was sharing with me so we both equally molested her. Noddy doing the majority of it but with me catching feels here and there.

Funny thing was she learned English in Switzerland helping people with disabilities. I pointed out she in a perfect place dealing with a bunch of retarded mongers.

Once the girl was suitably molested I gave her a 100 Baht tip and off we went.

Third Stop

This is where things will get a bit blurred. There are 4 clubs on this little area. We parked the bikes in front of Club 4. The other clubs were Pirate Club, 007 Club, and something else. I have no idea where we started.

We walked in and as things do we all had girls molesting us. Considering how much fun I had molesting the girl at the last bar I just manned up bought a drink and started to play. Don’t remember much but that was my strategy going forward.

We moved on to 007 Club and again, rinse and repeat. I get it’s boring reading but work with me here.

We leave and I’m like let’s go to Pirate’s and in we went. Same strategy again but the girl I got was a lot of fun. Plus my dick got hard which was a reminder I could fuck again but wasn’t sure I could nut. Still, the girl whose name I promptly forgot was like let’s fuck. 300 for the bar and 1000 for me. Sure why not!

Off we go to the room and the customary pre-fuck shower and she starts molesting me in there and cleaning bits that I knew would make it interesting once we hit the room.

We got back to the room and she’s licking my balls and then my ass. Said it was going to be interesting. She then spins around and we are in a sixty-nine and she’s blowing me and I’m eating her out. Finally she comes up for air and was like lets fuck I’m horny. Who am I to argue?

Get on a condom and she climbs on and I’m like fuck yes. She rides till she finishes and then says I want doggy so you can slap my ass. Who am I to argue? I am pounding away, slapping her ass and she is rubbing her clit between her legs and looking at herself in the mirror.

If fuck her but I just can’t finish because of the previous nut. So I’m like I’m done give me a break here. No you going to finish and I want to finish one more time.

So back into 69 and between blowing me, jerking me off, and having a beautiful pussy shoved into my mouth I finally blow.

We clean up and I head downstairs and the guys are chatting away. We move on to Club 4.

By this point the group was ready again but I had just fucked so I just sat and chilled and caught up on emails and shit. All the guys were going to rooms or the bed/bench areas in the club.

As guys trickled back after fucking or getting sucked we started to realize it’s getting late. Noddy had went upstairs. Those with bikes left for the next stop. Since I had a bike and Noddy had a bike 2 other guys hung back to ride bitch.

I will say for the record there is nothing worse then waiting for a monger to finish fucking when you are hungry. Noddy was making sweet love so we started to send him Line messages with pictures of ugly or fat women to him.

He finally appeared 90 minutes later so we could move on.

Fourth Stop

At this point we were starving and we arrive at Faires off of Soi Boukow. Get in and there is a smell of pizza that was mind blowing. No one cared about women, everyone dove into the pizza that was waiting for us.

No one did anything and we started to lose guys at this point as it was after 9 and other stuff was starting to happen. When we left there I took my bike back to the room and parked it and jumped it with the plans to get a motorbike taxi to the next stop.

Fifth and Final Stop

I actually met the guys at the final stop as they were arriving. It was Excite Club which I knew but had never been to.

Things started a bit slow and by the end it was me, Noddy and one other guy. It pays to be patient because over the next 3 hours the bar was full of naked and drunk women. There were tits and pussies everywhere. My dick was getting jerked on an licked and pretty much hung out of my shorts at this point.

I made the offer to fuck a girl all 3 holes right at the bar. The accepted price was 2000 Baht. My dick was hurting at this point from being played with so much but I should have done it just to say I did it. Finally at around 1 the mama who was attractive as hell and naked too was like we are closing. Party is over. Don’t have to go home but you aren’t staying here.


At that point we just did a typical gogo hop around Soi LK Metro. I was hitting the wall and I finally ejected at 3 leaving Noddy and the other mongers. Took a bike back to the room and called it a night.

Was a spectacular day here in Pattaya.