Going for Google page rank so why not throw in some keywords via Led Zeppelin!

While I have discussed mongering and some of the dumb activities I am usually involved in this is technically a travel site.  Well… a travel site that focuses on mongering and all that but still a travel site (notice the key words).  In the infant days of monger and glorious technology known as cellular phones mongers had to travel in packs to stay connected.  With the advent of cheap cell phones and easily acquired SIM cards in most countries this means that the scene of rampaging mongers is rare these days unless there is a bar crawl.  Now mongers can cut one from the herd for a few minutes and with a quick call or text be back with the group.

I am a rare individual that has a global cell phone.  I can lie and say it is a sign of my ungodly wealth but its a trade off from work that they can find my degenerate ass anywhere in the world in case of emergencies.  They have exercised this option a few times on me.  Nothing like having a girl in your room who thinks its funny to mess with you while you are talking to someone at work.  Not fun.  While I use my phone for non-work uses in my travels like calling various family members to let them know that I am still breathing or drunken phone calls to other degenerate mongers not on this trip I never use it to call girls in whatever country I am in.  To collect various phone numbers for ladies around the world and to stay in contact with other degenerate mongers in country I carry a Monger Phone(™ pending).

I often get questions about what type of Monger Phone a fellow monger should invest in or if they should just use their own phone.  First, don’t ever use your own phone while in another country.  If your phone is GSM and you travel then your phone will most likely roam.  Unless you are willing to pay $4.99 a minute to talk to the lady of your dreams because she isn’t calling you international forget about it.

What you want in a Monger Phone is an Unlocked GSM Phone and I recommend Quad Band to get the most bang for your money.  Why and what is Quad Band?  Quad Band is the frequency that the phone will receive calls and you can tell by reading the spec which will say GSM-850, 900, 1800 and 1900.  Without getting nerdy just look for that and it will work anywhere in the world as long as their cell network is GSM.

What is this Unlocked thing you speak of?  Unlocked means that the phone isn’t tied to a particular cell carries.  Cell phones in theory cost money to produce so many carriers *cough* Europe/North America *cough* get you to sign a long term contract with them and in return they reduce the cost of the phone and add a bunch of useless shit on the phone to let you know exactly who you got it from and ties it to use only on their network.  All phone manufacturers have unlock codes for their phones that releases them from the network allowing it to be used on any other network.  This is why you want unlocked.

How do I get a SIM for my phone and should I order one while I am in my home country?  The SIM is the brains of your phone.  It allows your phone to sync to the cell network and stores your contacts and phone number.  There are services where you can order a SIM in advance and have a number available.  I don’t recommend you do this because there is usually a steep fee involved.  If you can wait just get one in country.  You can find cell phone shops in most countries around the globe easily.  If you are too lazy to look or don’t want to be bothered just ask someone at the hotel and they can either acquire it for you or point you in the direction of a shop used to dealing with foreigners.

Once you have your SIM you can either put it into your phone yourself or play stupid and have the shop do it or find the nearest bar with ladies of dubious virtues and hand them the phone.  I haven’t been to a country yet where either tactic hasn’t worked.  After you have your SIM in you can be a texting and calling machine.  Usually when you by a SIM it comes with a certain number of minutes that will be worth so many phone calls or texts.  If you run out you can go back to the shop and buy more for a reasonable rate which they give you a code to enter into your phone after you dial a number or you can get them at various shops that sell refill minutes.

I’ll skip data and smart phones because you really don’t need it and most countries the idea of a data cellular network is laughable.  I would also suggest you get used to texting.  In most countries it is more expensive to call than to text.  Most ladies will text you rather than call you so if you can’t stand a normal phone keypad for texting then invest in a phone with a QWERTY keyboard.

If you are in the market for a phone I suggest you click on one of the three vendors whose ads I have on this site or do your own research and buy a phone!

Spanky