Let me give every new monger out there a piece of advice. Hell, even some of you that have been doing it for years or but just for your holiday. Bang them first.

No Hooker Date Night

Biggest mistake I see is guys meeting girls in the bars and then wanting to take them out for hooker date night. You know fuck all about these girls. You are there to fuck, not to sit there and pretend she’s your girlfriend. The minute you go hooker date night you lose control.

You don’t know her. You travel to some other country to get laid. Why in the fuck do you think taking her out for drinks, dinner, or disco time is going to get you extra points? You are just pissing away money you could be using to bang other girls.

Stop thinking they are regular women you need to woo into banging you. They are going to do it regardless, so just fuck them first and if you feel like going out after then have at it. But don’t sit there and go through useless motions when it’s clearly makes no difference.

You Lose Control

The worst thing I see is when guys take these girls out and then want her to pick where to go. The smart and savvy ones are going to absolutely rinse your ass. You will end up visiting her “friends” and that means you are going to pay for her to show off the sucker she just caught.

The dumber ones are just going to mope around going up to you or I don’t know or whatever it is in the local lingo. None of these girls have a fucking clue, they come from bumfuck nowhere and anything sophisticated is lost on them so you just frustrate yourself trying to find something that makes her happy.

Mongering is control and it’s through money. The minute you lost sight of that is the minute you lose control.

If You Like Her

My personal recommendation is bang her a few times. Trust me, nothing strips down barriers faster than having sex with a stranger. It’s rather intimate and you can have some pillow talk. Nothing wrong with it. If you find yourself thinking, I’d like to hang out with her fine.

Then take her out for an evening. Hell, she might even appreciate it because it gives her some time off. It also established that you two have something more in common than you can pay her for sexual services. Smart mongers do this all the times.

The establishing something of a relationship before you become other social interactions means you at least know each other. Sure it might be from banging but if there is something there you can at least build on that instead of going in blind and thinking a night out gets you somewhere.

Don’t Take Them Drinking

My final piece of advice is this. Don’t take them drinking because you are wanting to have a night out. There are only two outcomes to this scenario and neither are pretty.

Outcome number one is you get royally drunk and end up dragging her around and either she doesn’t drink as much as you and sits there bored. You get back to the room and pass out or attempting to fuck while pissed drunk and unable to. Good luck getting morning boom boom because most guys are too hungover and dehydrated to do much anything anyways and you still owe her money.

Outcome number two is you now got a drunk girl on your hands. Nothing says fun like dealing with a drunk hooker. Best case scenario is she passes out and you just go to bed with blue balls. What falls in between is just a test of patience.

There is usually vomiting involved. I personally witnessed 4 separate vomitings last night from girls who went out drinking with clients. I love watching them heave their guts up in my toilets, some of the nicest in Pattaya.

If they get past this phase you get the weepy, emotional ones who want to cry and tell you their lives are shit and so on and so forth. Good times and a bit of a boner killer.

Finally, you get the ones that go violent. They either try and self harm themselves or they start to take it out on you and get physical. I had one of those last night too. You have no idea how much force a small Thai woman can unleash when she is trying to kill another human being.

You really and I mean, really don’t want a drunk hooker. Remember, you are there to fuck not to see how some 30-50 kilo girl can drink with you.

Bang First Everything Else Secondary

I can’t stress it enough. You come on holiday because you can’t get laid at home. Don’t dick, just go forth and do the deed. She’s not some girl you need to impress with your social skills. Just bring a wad of cash and go forth and do what you came here to do; fuck.

If you want to do more with her after that, then by all means go for it. Just remember bang them first.

Spanky