Well I am recovered from food poisoning, now dealing with a minor sinus infection from aircon blowing on my head the whole time. But nothing life threatening. So it’s time for Angeles City recap.

It’s Still A Shit Hole

It had been 8 or 9 years since I been there. As my friend told me, it’s still a shit hole. There isn’t a lot of redeeming qualities to Angeles City. It is now more a Korean Mongers destination than a Western one. The bars and restaurants cater to them. Too bad they don’t put money into anything else in that town.

I already mentioned the infrastructure is shit and this isn’t just an Angeles City issue, the whole country is like this. The mobile internet is horrific at best. Roads are crap and unable to cope with the traffic volume. The buildings are held together with substandard building materials. The electrical grid is unreliable during any heavy storm.

Oh, and in Angeles City there is still fuck all do to other than drink and fuck and if you are like me, you go more for the drinking because honestly, you have seen it all before.

Girls Girls Girls

There are stunners in Angeles City I won’t deny that. Same for fuglies. Most girls run between the subjective 5-7 range. I can see why guys like them because they speak English. No Google translate required, no pigeon English, no learning a new language. So thats a draw.

The gogo bars usually have 2 or 3 shifts of dancers that rotate. What does blow my mine is instead of have hot girls mixed in with the less attractive, it’s very obvious you got an A Team, B Team, C Team type setup. They rotate through their sets and if they get barfined great, if not great. The girls do not take the initiative to talk to you. You either need a mamasan, waitress, or get off your ass and wave one over to get them to come and speak to you. The most aggressive girls are the bars that offer the massage girls that come around and offer table massages. I free admit to using their services more than once.

Freelancers are available and easily found. Lonesome Traveler would sit in front of his hotel on Fields Ave. and just wait for them to come to him and he would get them for 1000 Pesos. No barfine, no nothing. Smart idea if you can make it till 3 or 4AM as they are going home.

Speaking of which, barfines range from 2000-4000 Pesos. I had a 4000 Pesos offer because she was “supervisor” not a mamasan, but a “supervisor” no fucking idea what that meant nor did I care. The US Dollar is exchanging at 52.80 to 1. Great for the budget monger.

The Bars

There are two main bar areas. I’m sure there are a few scattered around as well but mainly it’s Fields Ave and The Perimeter which I still think is Fields just under a different name. Walk in a straight line from either point and you end up in the same place.

Perimeter bars are the daytime bars. This is your less attractive but tend to be more GFE performers. They open between Noon and 1 and close between 11PM and Midnight. They cater to the guys not afraid to venture from Fields and the expat crowd. The beer is cheaper, the girls aren’t as good looking but its a much more chilled atmosphere.

You then come to Fields Ave aka Angeles City Walking St which is a joke when you compare it to Pattaya’s Walking St. Here is where you find the bigger, and better stocked gogos with the pretty girls and higher drink prices. Best talent I saw was at Q Bar the worst is well Voodoo at 5AM but what do you expect for a 24/7 gogo. No girl that is good looking is going to be working at 5AM.

Here there are lots of bars and they are all gogos. One thing to note, there is no nudity in these places. Girls stay in bikinis or bra and panties. Sure, some leave little to the imagination but sometimes you like to see something a bit more than another bikini or bar. If you bought the girl a drink you could get to play with them a bit but that was about it.

Speaking of drinks there are 2 types and be prepared and be ready for it if you are uneducated. There are standards and their are double lady drinks. If you give a shit then ask what she is ordering. If you don’t assume she is going to smack you for a double. Lady drinks can run between 150 Pesos to 300 Pesos for a double. If you like the girl buy a double. If you are just feeling her out, buy a single.

Drinking And Fucking

Think I am joking about this? I am not. You think that sounds like heaven? Your life is pretty empty then. Let me be clear, drinking and fucking gets boring after 3 days. I got a BJ mainly because of bad luck and my drinking. It is home San Miguel Brewery and trust me, I love my San Miguel Light.

Moving on.

Look, there is fuck all to do. Sure, if you hotel has a pool you can lounge around the pool all day, wait for night and drink and find something to fuck. There is almost zero tourist shit to do in Angeles City. You can go to the mall I guess. The city itself is a dump. Clark Airbase has a small museum, and there is a waterpark some where.

You might be wondering why I called your life empty if all you want to do is drink and fuck? Well it is. Look, if you save up all your holiday time and money because you don’t do fuck all else at home just to come and fuck hookers and drink and live in fantasy land for 7-14 days you got issues. There is more to life than this. Even when I was back in the US I didn’t go I can’t go out because I need to save up to drink and fuck whores in a 3rd world shit hole.

There is zero cultural interest in Angeles City. It’s a shit hole pure and simple and drinking and fucking after day 3 gets tiring and repetitive. You just get up and repeat it daily like ground hog day because that is all there is to do.

No Plans To Go Back

I think it’s fairly obvious I have no plans on going back to Angeles City any time soon. Yes, I know there are other places in the Philippines but I’m not a beach guy. Wait you say! You live in Pattaya. The joke with expats here when people say that is, ‘there’s a beach?’ No one hangs out on it because its a shitty beach. I don’t really like real beaches because I get bored in about an hour of staring at the ocean. It’s meaningless to me.

If I want a change of pace and didn’t want to leave Thailand I can go to Ban Chang or Bangkok which are the nearest. If not, can jump a plane to Chiang Mai or Udon Thani or Korat. It’s not a big deal. More so, there is other shit to do than drink and fuck.

Plus, if I want out of the country Cambodia is an hour away and I love me some Phnom Penh.

Final Thoughts

Look, everyone is different on how you roll. Just I know too many people who have expressed the same sentiments as me concerning Angeles City. I quickly remembered why I never went back for 8 or 9 years. It’s just nothing to do.

I have a much better appreciate of Pattaya now. Trust me on that. I know what it’s like to be stuck in a place with there is nothing else but drinking and fucking. Least here I have stuff to entertain me other than going to a bar.

So for you lovers of the Philippines and Angeles City I leave it to you. My ass will not be near that country any time soon.

Spanky

PS – For those wondering. I stayed at the Pacific Breeze. The sole redeeming quality of Angeles City.